Hi, my name is Anthony Tran and I have been very inconsistent with posting; I apologize for that. A couple of life-changing events have happened to me that has made it very difficult and complex to stay focused on things that need my full attention. This happened back in May, and since then, I've tried my best to put a foot forward in starting and finishing photo sessions and portraits. As I have learned and been told by a friend of mine, mental health is important and something that needs to be taken care of. Just like if you broke a bone, it needs time to heal.
I've been spending my time, anxiously, trying to rush through a healing process that shouldn't be rushed. As a result however, I have been able to gain new friends and garner life experience around new people. This was all gained through my photography work and finding out how I got excited about my work in the first place; it was talking to new people. For a majority of my time lately, my photography has been very solitude. What I mean by that is I became very content with just doing my job, not talk to anyone really, and go home. That's wrong. That's not how I even got so deep into photography.
I started by engaging and meeting new people because that seemed to be my, how I would say it, cold meeting. With a person that has had very low points in life due to depression and anxiety, I always found it difficult to be forward with who I am as a person to new people. I used my camera to kind of mask that. It was a way easier way for me to approach and connect with new people. Sometimes I have seemed very underwhelmed, but really I'm thrilled to be spending time with a creative in my space that they trust I can fulfill. When I tell people how much I appreciate their time and kind words, I feel like I'm underselling it because I can't ever find the right adjectives to explain the exuberance of creating something.
I'd like to say I've healed, but we never really do. Humans have the capability to tear down things just as fast as they are as building them. I will always have a soft spot for them. I can mend and put together a broken glass but there still will be scratches and marks from when it was dropped. What matters is putting it together and seeing if I can still drink out of it.
My passion and attachment I have with my art is coming back to me now and I couldn't be happier. This whole summer was probably the most exhausting and excruciating summer I'll ever have for awhile. Which ironically is the exact opposite of what people usually experience, with summer fun and all. When it rains, it pours hard and when the sun is beaming, it's hotter than any other summer day. What I've been learning is that you take things for how they are and appreciate the past for what it is. I'm excited for the future though. I wonder what else I'll be doing. I want to see if I can reach some of my personal goals as well as my professional. I want to tour again soon. I want to take a road trip for a show. I want to make photography a full time thing. These are all dreams and bars I've set for myself. Nothing can be more satisfying than knowing that, after reaching your goal, that it was you that did it. You worked for what you have and you pushed through all the obstacles, mentally and physically, to be there.
I do have a vision of what my future will be and now it's just a matter of how willing I am to get there. I had the goal to get published once outside a music magazine and it happened, twice. I was published in NYC Promo Mag and Elegant Mag out of California. However, despite reaching and achieving some goals, there will be days where I'm 100% and there will be days where I'm -66% and I need to lay in bed a whole day. That's how your head works and you kind of just need to go along with the ride when you can. Not accepting it and pushing away your feelings is the worst thing you can do to yourself. I invite you to accept yourself and to know that everything is temporary and that things can only last for so long. It's just a matter of knowing that and appreciating everything as they come. I'm very happy that I was able to create so much this summer and to vent out every little kink in my soul.